Social and Emotional Development
Social emotional development early childhood covers how children form relationships, understand and manage feelings, and learn to get along with others. It starts with trusting bonds with a few caring adults and grows, step by step, into friendships, empathy and cooperation. This guide explains the stages and how to support them.
A child who feels secure, can name what they feel and knows how to join a game with others is ready for almost anything, including school. These skills matter as much as letters and numbers, and they grow through everyday relationships at home and in care. More guides are in our development hub.
What social-emotional development covers
Social-emotional development covers a child's sense of security and self, their ability to recognise and manage emotions, and their skills in relating to others: making friends, sharing, cooperating and resolving conflict. In the national Early Years Learning Framework, it links closely to outcomes about identity and wellbeing.
Social emotional development early childhood experts often describe these skills as the foundation for later learning, because a settled, confident child is free to explore.
Self-awareness: knowing who they are, what they like and how they feel.
Self-regulation: managing big feelings and impulses, a skill that develops slowly over years.
Social skills: playing alongside, then with, other children, and learning to take turns.
Empathy: understanding that others have feelings too, and responding kindly.
Four building blocks
- Security and trust
- Understanding feelings
- Managing feelings
- Getting along with others
Growing heartsHow social and emotional skills often grow
| Around | What you might see |
|---|---|
| Under 1 | Smiles at familiar faces, seeks comfort from trusted adults, may be wary of strangers |
| 1 to 2 | Separation feelings, plays beside other children, strong wish for independence |
| 2 to 3 | Big feelings and tantrums, beginning pretend play, starting to notice others' feelings |
| 3 to 4 | Plays with friends, names some feelings, takes turns with help |
| 4 to 5 | Close friendships, shows empathy, solves small conflicts with words |
Attachment and secure bases
Attachment is the emotional bond between a child and their caregivers. A securely attached child trusts that their adults will comfort and protect them, which gives them a secure base from which to explore, try new things and return when they need reassurance. Children can form secure attachments with several caring adults.
Responsive care builds security: noticing a child's cues and responding warmly and consistently.
Attending care does not weaken a child's bond with their parents. Children can have a strong primary bond and trusting relationships with educators too.
Consistent educators help. Each of our rooms keeps a steady team, which means the same trusted adults greet children day after day.
A gentle orientation helps children build trust before a full day. See our settling guide.
Learning to name feelings
Learning to name feelings helps children understand and manage them. When adults put words to emotions, "you feel frustrated because the tower fell", children gradually learn a vocabulary for what is happening inside them. Being able to say "I'm cross" is a big step towards handling anger without hitting or screaming.
Start simple: happy, sad, cross, scared. Add words like frustrated, disappointed and nervous as language grows.
Picture books are a gentle way to talk about feelings, because children can discuss a character rather than themselves.
All feelings are allowed; not all behaviour is. "It's okay to be angry. It's not okay to hit."
Co-regulation comes first. Children learn to calm themselves by being calmed by a trusted adult, again and again.
Empathy and sharing, when they really develop
Empathy and sharing develop gradually, and later than many parents expect. Toddlers may comfort a crying friend, but true sharing, giving up something they want for someone else, is hard until around three or four, and still hard sometimes at five. Not sharing at two is completely normal.
Taking turns is easier to learn than sharing. "You have a turn, then Mia has a turn" is concrete and fair.
Toddlers are still learning that others have separate feelings and wants.
Notice and name kind acts: "You gave Sam a turn. He looks happy."
Forced apologies teach little. Helping a child notice how another feels, and what might help, builds real empathy.
Roughly when
- Toddlers
- Notice others' distress
- Three
- Take turns with help
- Four to five
- Share and comfort friends
How group care builds these skills
Group care gives children daily practice with the social skills that are hard to learn at home: waiting, sharing space, joining a game, handling conflict and making friends. Educators guide these moments as they happen, helping children find words, calm down and try again, which turns every disagreement into a learning opportunity.
Children see many ways of playing and communicating, which broadens their social understanding.
Educators model calm problem-solving: "Two people want the bike. What could we do?"
Routines like group time and meals teach turn-taking and listening.
In 2026, our centre was rated Meeting for relationships with children and Exceeding for partnerships with families. See our quality rating.
Supporting it at home
You can support social-emotional development at home by staying warm and responsive, naming feelings, setting clear and consistent limits, playing together and giving children chances to practise with other children. Looking after your own wellbeing matters too, because calm adults help children stay calm.
Special one-to-one time, even ten minutes of play led by your child, builds connection.
Predictable routines reduce stress and help children feel secure.
Playdates, playgroups and parks offer practice with peers.
Repair after hard moments. Saying "I'm sorry I shouted" teaches children how relationships recover.
When behaviour signals something more
Behaviour may signal something more if a child seems persistently withdrawn, rarely seeks comfort, shows little interest in people, has extreme or very frequent outbursts beyond what is typical for their age, or if big changes in behaviour appear suddenly. Talk to your GP, child health nurse or your child's educators.
Life events, like a new sibling, a move or family stress, often show up in behaviour. Support usually helps quickly.
Sleep, hunger and illness affect mood and behaviour more than we sometimes realise.
Early help from a paediatrician, psychologist or other professional can make a big difference.
Our inclusion guide explains how we work with families and professionals, and there is more in our guide to tantrums and big feelings.
Feelings and friendships, answered
Is not sharing normal at two?+
Yes, not sharing at two is completely normal. Toddlers are only beginning to understand that other people have wants and feelings. Turn-taking with adult help is a more realistic goal at this age, and true sharing tends to develop between about three and five.
What is co-regulation?+
Co-regulation is when a calm, caring adult helps a child manage big feelings, by staying close, speaking gently, naming the emotion and helping the child's body settle. Over many repetitions, children learn to calm themselves. Self-regulation grows out of co-regulation, not instead of it.
When should I worry?+
Seek advice if your child seems persistently withdrawn, rarely seeks comfort or connection, has outbursts far more intense or frequent than peers, or changes suddenly. Your GP, child health nurse and your child's educators are good people to start the conversation with.
Explore our St Ives centre.
See friendships growing
Visit our rooms and watch children play and learn together.